Languishing....

There is nothing uplifting to say about last weeks performance by the Achievers. The only promising improvement was turned in by Ronnie G. Unfortunately his team could not capitalize and dropped all three games by double digit deficits. To be blunt, EL REY DE PEZ sucked, and turned in a 50 pin drop in bowling average. The Horde took all four critical league points and dropped the LUA to 23rd place. The press conference was brief but rife with discontent.

"We should have been able to least steal one point and maybe even a draw or win. Their worst bowler turned in a 40 pin increase in overall average, but so did ours. It just wasn't our night. I do not know what is wrong. If I hit the box, I got a split and couldn't convert. If I had one pin to spare, my ball would get close without hitting it. Terrible."

What started out as the Strike it Rich League Cinderella story of the year, has now descended into the dungeon. The Lubbock Urban Achievers will have to convert some wins in the next 9 weeks to get back on track for their inaugural season.

"Alot of people are against us, we know it, but we just can't let it effect our game. Speaking of game, have you seen mine? I lost it last week and I can't seem to find it. What hurts is, we are really trying hard. We have cut down on our buckets of beer from 6 to 5. We have practiced. We have bought our own balls and shoes. Short of learning how to actually bowl, I don't see what else we can do. I am not saying the other teams are cheating, so I will just blame it on the officials. They blew 4 calls last week, then hosed us on the 2nd game tonight that cost us the lead."

After the contest, Strike it Rich League administration sanctioned EL REY DE PEZ and HELMUT for their antics at the bowling alley. EL REY must serve a one match suspension for being critical of the referees. HELMUT will be put on probation following an incident at the snack bar in which he exclaimed, "I said THIS taco had enough cheese on it, not yours." Evidently you have to watch what you say to the hired help at Classic Lanes. They are sensitive.

A depleted but resilient LUA side will take on the Nascar Nuts, in a battle of cellar dwellers this Friday. Helmut and El Rey will be playing under assumed names at the Urinal Cake Invitational in Santa Rosa, New Mexico.